How to Address Wedding Invitations Correctly: Modern & Traditional Etiquette
Addressing wedding invitations seems simple—until you’re faced with titles, couples types, widows, children, military ranks, and more you didn’t even think to ask. Why does it matter? Guest addressing is not only the first impression you make for your memorable event, it also sets the tone for your celebration and signals respect and your particular level of social intelligence. Whether you prefer a traditional format or a more modern, inclusive approach, this guide simplifies the details so you can send your invitations with confidence and elegance.
The Envelope—or Envelopes.
There are two? Yes—traditionally. The outer envelope is the one that goes through the mail, while the inner envelope holds the invitation and names only the specific people invited. Why the extra step? In formal or traditional weddings, it adds an elegant layer of clarity and ceremony, which also protects precious contents from the elements and a typically ruthless postal passage. Today, many couples skip the inner envelope to streamline, but for black-tie or more traditional celebrations, it is still used to a gracious signal.
Mailing Envelopes (Outer Envelopes)
The mailing envelope—often called the outer envelope—is what travels through the postal system. It should always be addressed formally, using full names of the homeowners, titles, and a complete mailing address. This is your guests’ first impression of the event, and when done well, it reflects care, thoughtfulness, and clarity. If you’re using just one envelope, it becomes even more important to clearly state who is invited. This means correct titles if formal invitations are being sent, spelling out both names in an unmarried couple, including children when appropriate. How to address wedding envelopes correctly is one of the most searched etiquette topics for good reason—it’s deceptively detailed, but deeply appreciated when done well, and unfortunately, noticed first when done incorrectly.
Inner Envelopes
The inner envelope is a longstanding tradition that adds a graceful, personal layer to formal wedding invitations. It holds the actual invitation and allows for a more familiar tone—first names only, or beloved titles like “Aunt Charlotte and Uncle David.” Unlike the outer envelope, it does not include an address, only the names of all (and only) those invited. Inner envelope etiquette is often misunderstood, but it’s the quintessential tool for clarifying exactly who is—and isn’t—included, especially when children or plus-ones are involved. While inner envelopes are optional in today’s modern invitation formats, they remain a charming detail that signals a more traditional or formal tone. If you're skipping the inner envelope, be sure your outer envelope wording is extra clear. A designer well-versed in etiquette can also offer both stylish and sophisticated alternative inner envelope options.
How to Address Wedding Invitations (Most Common Scenarios)
FORMAL
Married Couple, Same Last Name
Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Reynolds
(or)
Mr. Jonathan and Mrs. Elizabeth Reynolds (modern variation)
Married Couple, Different Last Names
Ms. Jordan Clark and Mr. Samuel Blake
List the woman first unless alphabetically otherwise.
Unmarried Couple Living Together
Ms. Hannah Lee
Mr. Christopher James
Use two lines—no “and.”
A Single Guest
Ms. Olivia Bennett
(or use professional titles if applicable)
A Family with Children
Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Harper
Emily and James
Children’s names go on the second line of the inner envelope only, or on the mailing envelope if there is no inner.
Military Titles or Doctors
Captain Andrew Whitman, USMC
Dr. Grace Walters and Mr. Daniel Walters
INFORMAL
Married Couple, Same Last Name
Elizabeth and Jonathan Reynolds
Married Couple, Different Last Names
Jordan Clark and Samuel Blake
List the woman first. Same-sex union list alphabetically
Unmarried Couple Living Together
Hannah Lee
Christopher James
Use two lines—no “and.”
A Single Guest
Olivia Bennett
A Family with Children
Rachael and Danny Harper
Emily and James
Children’s names go on the second line of the inner envelope only, or on the mailing envelope if there is no inner.
Military Titles or Doctors
Captain Andrew Whitman, USMC
note titles for military are still used
Grace and Daniel Walters
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Using nicknames instead of formal names on the mailing envelope
Mixing formal and informal — use formal addressing with formally written invitations, and so on…
Misspelling last names (double check!)
Putting “and guest” instead of learning their name, although in modern etiquette, it can have is place—read more here
Skipping ZIP codes or apartment numbers
Inconsistent title usage (mixing Mr./Ms. with first names)
Heather’s Hints for the Host
If you’re unsure of someone’s preferred title, it’s appropriate to ask.
When in doubt, default to formal.
Use professional titles respectfully, even among friends.
Pay attention to inclusivity—“Mx.” is accepted by many nonbinary guests.
Traditionally, no abbreviated initials are used. Names are fully spelled out.
Handwriting addresses on formal invitations adds warmth, especially when paired with quality paper and printing.
Unless you are sending an invoice, do not use commercial peel-n-stick labels
ALWAYS weigh your entire enveloped suite at the post office to get the correct postage & realize that different post offices may give you different answers
Expect some of your suites to be lost or damaged, and order accordingly—there is nothing your stationer can do to help you if you do not properly prepare for this inevitability
All oversized, thick, inflexible, or square envelopes will require extra postage
Mail Save the Dates as much as 1 year and as little as 4 months in advance
Mail Wedding invitations for destination weddings 12 weeks in advance
Mail Wedding invitations for most weddings and galas 12 weeks in advance
Mail invitations for other social events 3-6 weeks in advance, or longer if the event is near a holiday
Most calligraphers need 2-3 weeks to handwrite 100-300 envelopes during normal times, and more time during holidays. As your stationer to create and send your envelopes early when possible. This means you will need to approve your envelopes to be printed first (with no further changes made). Most stationers charge a small fee for printing envelopes ahead of the rest of the components.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Q: What is the correct way to address wedding invitations?
The correct way is to use formal titles (Mr., Mrs., Dr., etc.) and full names on the outer envelope, along with a complete mailing address. If you're using an inner envelope, you may be more familiar—using just first names or affectionate titles like “Aunt Jane and Uncle Mark.” Always be clear about exactly who is invited to avoid assumptions.
Q: Do you spell out “Doctor” or abbreviate it on wedding invitations?
Etiquette allows for either, but traditionally, “Doctor” is spelled out on the outer envelope and abbreviated (Dr.) on the inner. Choose one format and stay consistent across your guest list and invitation wording.
Q: Should you include children’s names on the wedding envelope?
Yes—if they’re invited. On the inner envelope, list children’s names on a second line beneath their parents. If you're using only one envelope, include their names after the parents to make the invitation crystal clear.
Q: Is it rude to write “and guest” on a wedding invitation?
Not rude, but not ideal. It's always more thoughtful to find out your guest’s companion’s name and include it directly. “And guest” feels impersonal, and may cause confusion if your guest isn’t sure who they’re allowed to bring. If you intend for a guest to only bring their significant other, certainly find out and use that name. Otherwise, you are communicating they may bring any other guest they choose to name in their response.
Q: Can you address a wedding invitation informally if it's a casual wedding?
You can—but keep in mind that the tone of the envelope sets expectations. Even for a laid-back wedding, using proper names and respectful formatting signals that care has been taken. That said, dropping titles and using only names (e.g., “Olivia and Mason”) is perfectly acceptable for more relaxed affairs. This also signals to guests how to dress and the mindset they should bring to your event.
Q: What if I’m not sure about someone’s preferred title?
It’s completely appropriate to ask. A quick, respectful text or message avoids an incorrect assumption and demonstrates that you care about getting it right.