WORDING THE
FORMAL WEDDING INVITATION
You’re getting married—and it’s going to be a scene! Congratulations and best wishes—even those two well-meaning phrases are loaded with etiquette conundrums. Did you know? If you don’t, relax; there are only two things you need to do when planning your formal wedding. First, commit to have fun. Enjoy the process. Relish the choices, the moments, the attention, and all the genuine excitement from your loved ones. Second, and this is important—hire experienced, reputable help. When you step into the world of formalities, you need someone who knows event management, large or small, and someone who knows etiquette. These are rarely the same person. In the days of online searches, it is easy to become lost down a confusing path. Truly, etiquette is not a one-size-fits-all wording solution to your complicated party problems. My biggest pro tip before we start is (lovingly) this: most designers and planners are not etiquette experts. The talent for beautiful design skills and lavish events planned to precision do not mean an education in grammar and wording. Truth be told, most of us who worked in professional design were and still are paired with savvy, well-educated copywriters and editors. There is a very good reason for this. Do not rely solely on your designer for correct wording, and certainly not for final proofing of your beautifully printed representations of you and your taste.
This is what you and your designer need for the etiquette of formal invitation wording.
First, determine if your wedding is casual, informal (or semi-formal), or formal. If your wedding is after 6 pm, formal attire is appropriate.
Second, determine who is hosting your wedding. The way the first few lines read tells guests who is hosting and who the guests of honor are.
Last, is your wedding in a place of worship or sanctuary? This also determines the details of the wording.
Let’s jump into some wording scenarios. I hope that by teaching you the rules and framework, you can decide what’s right for your situation. Need help? Ask. We’ll answer and get you off on the right foot.
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The Timeless Etiquette Wording Format
it all starts here
The Evening Wedding
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Henry Williamson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Emily Rose
to
Mr. Michael John Lockhart
Saturday, the sixth of March
Two thousand twenty-seven
at half-after six o’clock
First Presbyterian Church
One West Putnam Avenue
Greenwich, Connecticut
WHY?
It’s important to know why certain choices are made.
Notes for the etiquette savvy
line-by-line on the formal invitation…
Parents are hosting together and are married. Therefore Mr. and Mrs. (formal social titles) request …
*Alternative family hosting situation examples are below.Because this is formal, the bride’s parents use their social titles and reference the groom with his, out of respect. They do not use a title (miss or Ms.) for their own daughter because she is immediate family.
Formal invitations are always issued in the 3rd person.
The British spelling of “honour” is used only because this is a religious ceremony held in a sanctuary.
Emily does not have a title mentioned above, which has nothing to do with gender roles, which is a common mistake.
In the case of Jewish weddings, “and” is often used instead of “to.”
Because Michael is not their child, they have given him the same title they gave themselves to show him respect and treat him as an equal, which is proper when formally introducing an adult.
Notice that “on” is not used before Saturday.
In formal language, half-after is correct. Half-past is informal or casual.
The location maintains the street address if it is not a major landmark.
If the address has a short, simple street number, it is spelled out
The city and state, or for large cities, only the city is named.
Zip codes are never used.
Mind what is upper and lower case.
Finally, the invitation reads as one grammatically correct sentence (without punctuation). As you add or remove content for your situation, keep this in mind.
Divorced parents co-hosting
Ms. Catherine Landry Phillips
Mr. Thomas Henry Williamson
request the … (more on this line below)
at the marriage of their daughter
Emily Rose Williamson
to
Mr. Michael John Lockhart
-or-
Ms. Catherine Landry Phillips
and
Mr. Thomas Henry Williamson
Groom’s family is hosting
bride's social title is used
grooms is not
Mr. and Mrs. Catherine Landry Phillips
requests the … (more on this line below)
at the marriage of
Miss Emily Rose
to their son
Michael John Lockhart
Divorced, retired military hosting
Rank precedes the name
Branch of service appears
“Retired” follows the branch
Doctor Catherine Landry Williamson
and
Lieutenant Colonel Thomas Henry Williamson
United States Marine Corps, Retired
request the … (more on this line below)
at the marriage of their daughter
Emily Rose Williamson
to
Mr. Michael John Lockhart
-or-
Ms. Catherine Landry Phillips
and
Mr. Thomas Henry Williamson
Both families hosting together
bride's family first
groom's family second
connected by "and" on its own line
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Henry Williamson
and
Mr. and Mrs. John Robert Lockhart
request the … (more on this line below)
at the marriage of their children
Emily Rose
and
Mr. Michael John Lockhart
Divorced mother is hosting alone
Ms. Catherine Landry Phillips
requests the … (more on this line below)
at the marriage of her daughter
Emily Rose
to
Mr. Michael John Lockhart
Active duty military hosting
Rank precedes the name
Branch of service appears
below on a separate line.
Lieutenant Colonel and Mrs.
Thomas Henry Williamson
United States Marine Corps
request the … (more on this line below)
at the marriage of their daughter
Emily Rose Williamson
to
Mr. Michael John Lockhart
-or-
Ms. Catherine Landry Phillips
and
Lieutenant Colonel Thomas Henry Williamson
United States Marine Corps
Married active duty military and doctor hosting
Rank precedes the name
Branch of service appears
below on a separate line.
Doctor Catherine Landry Williamson
Lieutenant Colonel Thomas Henry Williamson
United States Marine Corps
request the … (more on this line below)
at the marriage of their daughter
Emily Rose Williamson
to
Mr. Michael John Lockhart
-or-
Ms. Catherine Landry Phillips
and
Mr. Thomas Henry Williamson
Military bride or groom
Rank precedes the name
Branch of service appears
“Retired” follows the branch
Mr. and Mrs.Thomas Henry Williamson
request the … (more on this line below)
at the marriage of their daughter
Emily Rose
to
Second Lieutenant Michael John Lockhart
United States Marine Corps
No titles are used
Emily Rose Williamson
and
Michael John Lockhart
request the… (more on this line below)
at their marriage
-or-
Together with their families
Emily Rose Williamson
and
Michael John Lockhart
request the…
common question #2
How do i acknowledge a deceased parent?
This is one of the most searched etiquette questions we receive, and it deserves a thoughtful answer.
Formal etiquette does not list a deceased parent as a host — hosting implies presence, and the invitation is a practical document, not a memorial. That said, the instinct to honor someone who should be there is completely human, and there are beautiful ways to do it.
The wedding program is the proper place for acknowledgement. A line such as "In loving memory of Thomas Henry Williamson" — placed with intention — carries far more weight than a grammatically awkward host line ever could.
On the invitation itself, a quiet tribute through design is always appropriate: a motif connected to them, their favorite flower worked into the suite, a color that was theirs, or a subtle phrase they were known for. These are the details guests who loved them will notice — and that's exactly the point.
Second Marriage Invitation Wording
Second wedding invitation wording trips people up more than it should — and the answer is almost always simpler than expected.
The invitation does not announce that it is a second marriage. There is no notation, no modified language, no signal to guests that this is anything other than a wedding. The occasion stands on its own.
What does change is who hosts and the tone that follows. For a second marriage, the couple typically hosts themselves, which naturally produces wording that is warmer and more direct than a traditional parent-hosted invitation. "Together with their families" is a graceful option when both sides of the family are actively involved.
The rules that govern first wedding invitations govern second ones equally: lady's name first when listed separately, "the honour of your presence" for a religious ceremony, "the pleasure of your company" for a civil one, and a dress code stated as a directive — not a suggestion.
If you are navigating a blended family situation, military titles, or a non-traditional hosting arrangement for your second wedding, the same frameworks apply. See the scenarios above, or ask us directly.
