#HeathersHints · Holiday Correspondence

What to Write in a Christmas or Holiday Card: The Right Words for 10 Kinds of Cards

By Heather Wiese, Founder & Creative Director of Bell'INVITO.

Every December, I know my clients have the same sentiment, because my DMs, text messages, and inbox fill up with some version of "I never know what to write." After over twenty years, here's what I tell them: you don't need a paragraph. You need one sentence that could only have come from you to them. Below are lines for the 10 kinds of cards most of us send, from your oldest friend to your newest client to the neighbor having the hardest December of her life. Find the card you're writing and skip the rest.

The Formula: Greeting, One True Line, Sign-Off

Every good holiday message has the same three parts. The middle one does all the work.

The test for the middle line is simple: could you send it to anyone else on your list? If yes, it's a greeting. If no, it's a message. "Hope you're well" is a greeting. "I hope the new knee is behaving and the dog has forgiven you for the stairs" is a message.

What to Write, Card by Card

Borrow a line, then change one word to make it yours. Words in italics are where your own detail goes.

1. The card to a close friend

• "This year was better because you were in it."
• "Same time next year? Actually, let's not wait that long."
• "You were my first call in the good moments and the hard ones. Thank you."
• "Still laughing about the karaoke night. Never change."
• "Here's to another year of long dinners and short excuses to see each other."
• "So grateful for your matchless wit. December wouldn't be the same without it."

2. The card to family, near and far

• "The table won't feel full without you. Come soon."
• "Nothing feels like the holidays until we're all in one kitchen."
• "Thank you for the traditions, even the ones we pretend to complain about."
• "Missing you more than the cookies, and that's saying something."
• "So proud of you this year. Can't wait to hear about the next one."
• "Counting the days until the house is loud again."

3. The card to a friend you've lost touch with

• "I think of you every time I pass the old bakery. Let's fix that this year."
• "It's been too long, and that's entirely my fault. Coffee in January?"
• "You crossed my mind this fall, and I realized I never told you how much that summer meant to me."
• "Whatever this year held for you, I hope it was kind."
• "New address, same friend. I'd love to hear how you are."
• "Some friendships go quiet, but they never end. Thinking of you."

Don't skip this group because it feels awkward. In studies with more than 5,900 participants published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, researchers found that people consistently underestimate how much others appreciate being reached out to, and the gap is largest when the contact is a surprise (Liu et al., 2022). The card you hesitate over is often the one that matters most.

4. The card for a year of firsts: new baby, newlyweds, new home

• "Your first Christmas as a family of three. What a gift."
• "Your first holidays as newlyweds. May they be the first of very many."
• "Here's to your first holiday in the new house. May the oven behave."
• "We can't wait to meet Ellie. Kiss those cheeks for us."
• "New city, same people who love you. We're only a flight away."
• "A new chapter looks wonderful on you."

5. The thank-you card: teachers, neighbors, mentors, and helpers

• "Thank you for making Ford love Tuesdays. That's no small thing."
• "Thank you for the porch light, the packages, and the peace of mind. We're lucky to live next to you."
• "Your advice this year changed my course. Thank you."
• "We notice everything you do for this family. Thank you, truly."
• "You made a hard year easier, and I won't forget it."
• "Thank you for every early morning and every kind word."

If gratitude feels too earnest to put in writing, consider the evidence. In four experiments published in Psychological Science, people who wrote letters of gratitude underestimated how surprised and happy their recipients would feel, and overestimated how awkward the recipients would find it (Kumar & Epley, 2018). In other words, the thank-you you almost didn't write lands better than you think.

6. The card to clients and colleagues

• "Thank you for a wonderful year of working together. Here's to the next one."
• "Working with you on the spring launch was a highlight of my year."
• "Thank you for your trust this year. We never take it for granted."
• "Grateful for your referrals, and even more for your friendship."
• "Wishing you a restful holiday and a well-deserved break from your inbox."
• "We couldn't ask for better partners. Happy holidays to you and your team."

Business cards follow one rule: relationship first, never a sales pitch. Traditionally, businesses choose a non-religious greeting, such as "Season's Greetings" or "Happy Holidays." The reason is consideration, not correctness: a client list spans many faiths and many holidays, and a general greeting welcomes all of them. If you prefer to say "Merry Christmas," say it. Sharing your own celebration is never wrong; the freedom to celebrate as we each choose is a gift, and we remember those who gave us that choice, especially during the holidays. Whatever greeting you choose, leave out the discount codes.

7. The card to someone who is grieving

• "Thinking of you and holding you close this season."
• "Smiling this Christmas at every happy memory of Tom. Our hearts are with you."
• "This season will be different. We're thinking of you through every part of it."
• "No need to write back. We just wanted you to know you're loved."
• "We'd love to bring dinner the Saturday after Christmas. I'll text you."
• "Sending you peace this season, and love for the year ahead."

Send the card. The first December after a loss can be the loneliest, and silence feels like being forgotten. Hospice UK's advice is to say something rather than nothing, to name the person who died, and to share a memory if you have one. Choose a quieter design, skip the family photo, and replace "let me know if you need anything" with a specific offer. Grieving people rarely call to collect on a vague one.

8. The card to someone who had a hard year

• "This year asked a lot of you. You answered with grace."
• "Wishing you a quieter, gentler new year."
• "However this season looks for you, we're in your corner."
• "Here's to a year ahead that's as kind to you as you are to everyone else."
• "So proud of how you carried this year. Lunch is on me in January."
• "No words could hold all the love we're sending your way."

9. The faith-forward Christmas card

• "May the peace of Christmas fill the new house and stay long after the decorations come down."
• "We think of you every Christmas Eve in the third pew. Merry Christmas from all of us."
• "Glory to God in the highest, and thank you for leading the children's choir again this year."
• "Praying for Ellie as she heads off to college, and giving thanks for your family this Christmas."
• "Your Christmas Eve gumbo is the reason we believe in miracles. Merry Christmas."
• "Merry Christmas to the family who made our first year in Dallas feel like home."

10. The inclusive or New Year card

• "Happy Hanukkah! May all eight nights be as bright as your latkes are crisp."
• "Wishing you warmth, light, and another winter of Sunday suppers together."
• "Happy New Year to the best neighbors on the block."
• "Here's to finally taking that trip to Italy together in the new year."
• "Cheers to 2027, and to the new business. May it be your best chapter yet."
• "Here's to a new year of more golf and fewer meetings."

For friends who celebrate other holidays, greeting them for their own is a thoughtful touch. The Emily Post Institute suggests greeting friends for the holiday they celebrate, and choosing broad wishes such as "Season's Greetings" or New Year greetings for business contacts and acquaintances. In 2026, Hanukkah begins at sundown on December 4 and ends at nightfall on December 12 (Hebcal), so mail Hanukkah cards by late November. A New Year card is correct through mid-January and never looks late.

How to Sign Off

Match the sign-off to the relationship: "With love" for family and close friends, "Warmly" for neighbors and mixed lists, "Warm regards" for business. When you sign as a couple, the woman's name comes first: "Kate and James." Same-gender couples may use either order. For families, plural surnames, and every signing question, see the full guide to holiday card etiquette.

What Not to Write in a Christmas or Holiday Card

On the year-in-review letter: one page, warm, and generous to other people. It will be read by friends whose year was harder than yours, and no one's dog is as accomplished as the annual letter suggests.

Questions About Christmas and Holiday Card Messages

What should I write in a holiday card?

A greeting with the person's name, one line written specifically for them, and a warm sign-off. "Dear Anne, I still think about our walk on the beach in June. Here's to more of them. With love, Kate and James."

How long should a holiday card message be?

One to three sentences. One specific line means more than a paragraph of general news.

What do you write in a Christmas card to a coworker or client?

Thank them for something specific and wish them well for the year ahead. The business standard is a general greeting, such as "Season's Greetings." If you prefer "Merry Christmas," that's your choice to make, knowing not everyone celebrates the same way. Leave out sales offers.

What do you write in a holiday card to someone who is grieving?

Acknowledge the loss gently and keep it simple. If you knew the person who died, a short memory of them is a kindness. If you can help, make a specific offer rather than "let me know if you need anything."

What should I write in a holiday card to someone who doesn't celebrate Christmas?

"Season's Greetings," "Happy Holidays," and New Year wishes are the traditional choices, and greeting friends for their own holiday, such as "Happy Hanukkah," is a thoughtful touch. If you prefer to say "Merry Christmas," it is never wrong.

How do you sign off a holiday card?

"With love" for family and close friends, "Warmly" for neighbors and mixed lists, "With gratitude" for helpers, "Warm regards" for business. As a couple, the woman's name comes first: Kate and James.

Do I need to write a message if my holiday card is printed?

No. A well-designed printed card is a complete greeting. A handwritten line is a lovely extra for the people you see least often.

Is it okay to include a holiday letter with the card?

Yes, if it's one page, warm rather than boastful, and free of politics.

Staring at a card for someone you haven't spoken to in years? Start with their name. The rest comes easier than you think. — H.